A Homily on Matthew 18:15-20:Alone: God’s Way of Healing Wounds (13-8-25)

 A practical homily on Matthew 18:15-20, where Jesus calls to speak privately, with lessons from a teacher’s wisdom, Saul, and Peter for healing relationships today, (13-8-25)

Praise be to Jesus Christ 

There was a school teacher in a village school. She was respected by everyone.  One day, a young nutty student made a quite serious problem in the class. Many children saw it, and the whole room became silent, waiting for the teacher to scold him. But the teacher quietly looked at the boy and said, “Come with me.” The boy’s head bend down and he went with the teacher.  The teacher took him away from other students and there, the teacher spoke softly, explaining the mistake and how to correct it. The boy literally cried, not because of fear, but because he felt understood and loved and he promised to do better. And when they came back to the class, nothing more was said about it.  After years, he said “If my teacher had scolded me in front of everyone, I would have hated her. But because she spoke to me alone, I loved her and never forgot the lesson.”

There is a small but powerful word in today’s Gospel. Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” That “alone” is not just a detail. It is a doorway to peace and healing. Personal approaches can remark heartfelt conversions. It gives a space for better understanding and empathetic listening. When crowd gives you a global view of the group, personal time gives you specific attention. 

We see a contrasting lesson in King Saul’s life. When soul became jealous toward David, instead of speaking to him and clearing the misunderstanding, Saul allowed his suspicion to grow into hatred. That hatred drove him away from God and led him into ruin. One honest and humble conversation could have changed his story. Hatred and Envy builds big walls that hides other from our sight. When we avoid direct conversation it spreads gossiping and shaming. St. Paul adds “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted”(Gala. 6/1). So we are not better enough to judge others . 

In our own lives, misunderstanding surely happens. Husband and wife may hurt each other. Parents and children may speak in anger. Friends may feel betrayed. Communication gaps may occur in our communities. The real question is — what is the next step?  Have you ever gone directly to the person who hurt you and spoken with love? Often, you will find that they listen. Sometimes, they may have been convinced they were right, but when the truth is gently explained, they see it and even thank you. We are not supposed to judge others also. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Mt.7/1-2). It is like a pressurized balloon that is about to burst, once you allow some air to vent out, it won’t burst. In the same way venting out our emotions will avoid emotional outbursts.

 As everyone knows, today, we are blessed to have more options than ever to heal the wounds quite quickly. Even if we are not able to meet in person, a simple SMS or WhatsApp message saying, “I am sorry” or “Can we talk?” can open the door to peace. Technology can spread gossip and division, but it can also carry words of healing if we choose to use it in the proper way. But initiative for reconciliation matters. 

Public correction often makes the wound deeper. Pride and shame rise up, and the person may close their heart for years. It is more like shooting the person without addressing their concerns. Private conversation protects dignity and opens the door for grace to work. Saint Francis de Sales once said, “A spoonful of honey catches more flies than a barrel of vinegar.” Honey here is kindness. Speaking alone adds kindness to the truth.

St. Teresa of Avila, in The Way of Perfection (Ch.15), gives us the same wisdom: “When you must correct, do so with love, and in such a way that the person understands you desire her progress and not her shame.” This is the spirit of the Gospel — correction not to put people down, but to lift them up.

Jesus even gives a clear method: first, speak to the person alone; if that does not work, bring one or two others; if they still refuse, involve the community. The goal is always restoration, never revenge.

Jesus Himself lived this. After Peter denied Him three times, Jesus did not humiliate him in front of everyone. By the lake after the resurrection, with the others present but silent, He turned to Peter in a deeply personal conversation (John 21:15-19). Three times He asked, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Three times Peter answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” That gentle exchange healed Peter’s wound and restored his mission.

The word “alone” in the Gospel is not about hiding the truth.  Moreover, it is about keeping the dignity of the other person and creating a sacred space where love can do its work and peace can flourish. If we take effort to live this way in our families, parishes, and communities, we will see less bitterness and more peace and love.

 Lord,  teach me to heal the wounds without hurting my brethren . Amen.

One more additional story, you may like it ;

There was once a little village where everyone knew each other. One day, a man noticed that his neighbour’s fence was broken, and some animals were entering into the fields. He thought to himself, “If I tell him directly, he might feel embarrassed. But if I stay silent, the animals will keep getting in, and the problem will grow.” So, he went to his neighbour’s house in the evening, knocked gently, and said with a smile, “I saw your goats enjoying the grass in my garden today, I think your fence needs a little repair. Can I help you fix it tomorrow?” The neighbour laughed and thanked him warmly. They fixed the fence together, and their friendship grew even stronger.

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