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Homily on Matthew 9:14–17 About Comparison and True Fasting

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 “Why Do We Fast and You Do Not?” — A Heart-to-Heart Homily on Matthew 9:14–17 About Comparison and True Fasting ( 5-7-2025)

Praise be to Jesus Christ 

 

There was a school in a small town where, every Lent, students were invited to write down something they would give up. Some said chocolates. Some gave up TV. Others chose meat. But one quiet boy wrote on his slip of paper, “This Lent, I give up comparing myself with others.”

When the teacher read it aloud, some children laughed softly. One whispered, “That’s not even a real sacrifice.” But the boy calmly said, “Last year, I gave up sugar. But I kept watching others eat sweets. It made me angry. I felt proud that I was fasting, but also jealous. I realised that I was not really fasting. I was just comparing.”

In today’s Gospel, we hear a question that sounds very religious: “Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?” At first glance, it may seem like a question about rules. But Jesus hears something deeper behind it; the same thing that young boy discovered: comparison.

The question is not just “Why don’t they fast?” but it is “We are doing something spiritual, something great, and they are not. So why are they not like us?”

 Shall we just stop here and reflect how often that same question hides in our hearts. We look at others and wonder why they seem more free. We work hard in our spiritual life, we fast, we pray, we sacrifice, and then we look around to see who else is doing the same. When others are very often we feel disturbed, or worse, proud. Am I right?

Jesus doesn’t answer the question directly. Instead, He speaks of a wedding where joy is the primary element. He asks, “Can the wedding guests mourn while the bridegroom is with them?” Then He gives the image of wine and wineskins.  The new wine needs new skins, because it is still fermenting and growing. If you try to contain it in something rigid, it will burst.

 In the opinion of Jesus, this is what comparison does to us? It makes our hearts tight and hard. When we live our faith by comparing with others; who is holier, who is praying more, who is following the rules, we stop growing, we become rigid. And what we see is that sooner or later, something inside bursts, either in bitterness, or pride, or disappointment.

Jesus is not against fasting. It is very evident from the Gospels that He fasted Himself. But He is deeply against fasting that becomes performance, or spiritual competition. True fasting is a quiet act between you and God. It is not about others and It is not about who notices. It is about making space in your heart for grace.

The Pharisee in the Temple said, “I fast twice a week” (Luke, 18:12). He was proud, but the tax collector said, “Have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke, 18:13).  And the tax collector went home justified.

Real fasting indeed mean giving up food, and it is good and highly beneficial for our spiritual life. But it can also mean giving up gossip, giving up showing off, giving up the need to be seen, and definitely giving up comparison.

That boy in the classroom understood it in his own little way. He saw that looking at others had poisoned his fasting. And when he gave up comparing, something changed in him. Maybe he made room for grace. As Kierkegaard once wrote, “Purity of heart is to will one thing.” That means not looking left or right, but only looking at the Lord, and saying yes to Him, not for show, but for love.

So today let us ask ourselves honestly: When I fast, why do I do it? When I pray, whom do I want to see me? When I serve, do I need to be praised?  The bridegroom is with us. The presence of Jesus is not measured by how much we sacrifice, but how deeply we love. If our fasting brings us closer to Him and humbler with others, it is true. If not, it is just a shadow.

 Lord, teach me how to fast, without pride or comparison.

 

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