Homily on Matthew 16:24-28: Self Denial begins in Self-Love (08-8-25)

A thoughtful reflection on Matthew 16:24 – 28 that invites us to the paradox: “The Self I Must Love to Truly Deny.”  (8-8-25)

Praise be to Jesus Christ

 There lived a smart boy, Jim, who was crazy about nuts. His mother gifted him a jar full of nuts with a condition. I will give you the jar once a week and you can collect as much as nuts you want. To muster up the maximum he tried to grab it in full hand. Alas! He was not able to take the hand out. Hearing Jim’s cry his mother came to the dining. She saw his trick and asked him to drop some nuts and take the hand out. If we have to attain something we may have to drop or give up what we consider vert possessive. Jim listened to mother’s advice and reflected on his mistake.

     In today’s gospel, Jesus emphasises the importance of Self-Denial that is a pre-requisite to attain Heaven. Self is the unique representation of oneself. Without the Self there is no human journey …So can I deny my ‘self’ without loving my ‘self’? Let us explore the depths…

     Self-Love is the great reward that one individual can give oneself. Whatever we have received is a free gift from God (Mt.10/8). A gift is a free offering from somebody. Call to human life is a great gift that we have received from God. The validity of this gift exists in he acceptance of gift. But this acceptance may not be an easy process…The colour, gender, family, calibre etc. were inborn characteristics and it was not something that we have chosen for ourselves. So, a denial without acceptance does not bring any meaning, as it may stem from neglect and lack of self-acceptance. It also consists of loving my weakness, shortcomings so that I can accept me and others which brings change.  Jesus gave the great commandment: “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Mt. 12/31). Loving myself is accepting the sovereignty of God. When I sacrifice something that I love it is the cost that I pray for love… When I deny my family that I love for God and His Kingdom, it is the sacrifice and renouncement. What sacrifice is there if I see it just as an escapism from a place that I hate? If I hate my life what is the purpose of telling I wish to die…. According to Can. 1191 §1. “A vow, that is, a deliberate and free promise made to God about a possible and better good, must be fulfilled by reason of the virtue of religion”. A married couple or a religious deny one’s self that they love not what they hate for God and His people. So, self-denial begins from self-love. To listen to Jesus’s instruction to “take up their cross and follow me”(Mt.16/24) we have to love the crosses that we have.

Self-Denial is a forward step to come out of my self that I love. In a Biblical lens, It is abandoning myself out of great love for God. Here My and God’s- self, will align each other. Hence, there is no two selves but one self. I have merged my ‘self’ with God. St. Theresa describes Spiritual marriage in ‘Interior Castle’ to a small stream which merges with the ocean” (Herrera, 1984). Jesus reminds: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves” (Mt.12/24). Self-denial is an immersing of myself in God’s love. Then it is not a denial it is a free giving for what I have received (CFMt.10/8). Jesus reached the height of this self-denial. He denied His self in incarnation, being child of human parents, before his disciples, before the doubting crowd, at Gethsemane and a total surrender in the cross. His beautiful prayer at agony : “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done” (Mt 10/42) testify this. It is a losing of life for God’s glory. And then we can also proclaim like St. Paul “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” ( Gal 2/20). All the sacrifices for His love will be rewarded on the last day. (c.f Mt.16/ 27).

     Merton writes “To be a saint means to be myself”. So, as true Christians let us accept the great graces that we have received from God which beautifies our self. Let us deny our own ‘Self’ that is our ego that hindrances our path to Jesus and heaven. We can see beautiful examples of this self-denial at our home and communities. When a mother sacrifices her wishes for her husband and children, when a father work tirelessly denying his personal pleasures for the family, when children give up their game time and helps mother, when the community members eagerly wait for their fellow mates….These are done knowingly and unknowingly….But the true self-denial has to be offered out of love avoiding the grudges and murmurings… This can beautify our lives as holy lives… Be the love you never received. Let us love God and our fellow beings as nobody has loved them because we are loved as nobody is loved.

     If we have diverted from the path holding on to our wishes like Jim in the story let us renounce it and move freely to our goals.

Prayer: Oh Jesus! purify my self-love, nurture my self-denial 

⇒If you find this reflection meaningful and fruitful, please share it with others

The Team Search offers retreats, recollections, and classes for religious and others on different Biblical themes, the Eucharist, prayer, spiritual direction, Missiology, English phonetics (basic & advanced), Mariology, Sacraments,  the Desert Fathers and more. If you find it hard to get a resource person for any Christian topic, we are happy to assist you.

♦Contact: thesearch1994@gmail.com

God Bless..